My Little Brother’s Prime Minister Speech

Good evening, my fellow Australians. It has been a very tough, passionate election. But nobody said running for prime minister would be very easy, either. I know tensions are high, and for many this is a time of celebration. Whether you ticked my name or not, it doesn’t matter. This country is bigger than just one man. It’s about you. And the movement we have made to take our great country forward.

This campaign, from the very beginning, has wanted to take Australia into a new era. Under a Shae Steen government, our movement seeks to ensure the rights for all Australians. Our first step will be to achieve marriage equality once and for all. We will change this by holding a plebiscite so YOU have the vote. Our country’s icons are Kangaroos and Emus and I have faith in the Australian people that, like them, we can only move forward.

We are a progressive nation. We can’t use old technology to live our lives. This is why I plan to lead the way on combatting climate change. We will be investing in new green technology to fight climate change and the big oil companies who would rather watch the world burn for money rather than change. As an extra result of this, It will create millions of more jobs for a better, cleaner future. At the moment, 5.6% of Australians are out of work and over 105,000 are currently on the streets. These people are begging for opportunities, and together we can make a lasting change in this country.

Once again, this great country is bigger than one man. The change starts with you. Thank you all for your energy, time and care for our nation’s people.

troubled writer, depressed slug, bisexual simp, neoliberal socialist, trotskyist-bidenist, “corn-pop was a good dude, actually,” bio in pronouns: (any/all)

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