No, James Lindsay Won’t Debate You. Here’s Why.

Written (Frantically) by James Lindsay

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked why it is that the Janglers seem to want a debate or discussion about their views, and I’ve been meaning to avoid something like this for ages, probably a year at this point. Surely you’ll have noticed that I don’t tend to engage in debates or conversation?

It is not, as many think, a fraudulent or illegitimate grift into the realm of cock and ball torture — or otherwise of losing the debate or looking bad in the challenging battle of ideas — that prevents my internalized self-doubt on the subject of Critical Trans Rights Wokeness Theory from engaging my own critics. There’s a mountain of Theoretical excuses for why I would avoid such activities, and even if those were mere rationalizations of a more straightforward cowardice of being exposed as fraudulent or losing, I assure you my inconsistent ramblings on why I’m not owned deserve proper consideration.

I often get asked specifically if there’s some paper or book out there in the Critical James Lindsay Debate Ethos that prohibits or discourages me from debate and conversation with people who don’t already have 75,000 followers who grant me a 40 percent cut of all the Superchat income. I honestly don’t know. I’ve looked in a cursory fashion and haven’t found one, but, then, Debate God Of Facts and Logic scholars are also rather incredibly prolific (an undeniable benefit of having a surplus of debate prowess and good faith engagement with my ideas, as it happens). That is to say, there’s a lot of Woke people out there, and maybe someone has met all the arbitrary standards of non-cartoon physical posture, subscriber clout, specialty in higher education and i repeat subscriber clout out there, but if so, I haven’t seen it. So far as I know, if I close my eyes really tightly, there’s not some specific person of distinguished scholarship that can represent the Woke in a debate, like a single gay beared statistical champion explaining why my narrative is bullshit. It’s just part of the cultural Woke agenda mindset to mock me, and the view Scienelads can read through my pretentious assblast.

Consider how A duck walked up to a lemonade stand And he said to the man, running the stand “Hey! Got any grapes?” The man said “No we just sell lemonade. But it’s cold And it’s fresh And it’s all home-made. Can I get you
Glass?” The duck said, “I’ll pass”. Then he waddled away. ’Til the very next day. When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand, “Hey! Got any grapes? The man said, “No, like I said yesterday We just sell lemonade OK? Why not give it a try?” The duck said, “Goodbye.” good day Then he waddled away.

This reticence, if not unwillingness, to engage with the lemonade has a few pretty deep reasons behind it, and they’re interrelated but not quite the same. They combine, however, to produce the first thing everyone needs to understand about this ideology: it is a complete worldview with its own Lemons, Citrus, Pusillanimity and Marxist Morality, and mine is not the same worldview of Grapes. Theirs is, very much in particular, owned. In fact, theirs advances itself rather Pusillanimity or Unmanliness by depending upon us to play the Clown game with taking advantage of my ego. That’s not the same thing as being willing to play the Clown game amongst themselves, however, including to have thoughtful dialogue with people who engage in a good faith discourse on facts, figures and statistics which form their view of the world. Conversation and debate are part of my grif- uh, game, and they are not part of it.

1. The System Is Rigged Against Me, and Only Me

The first thing to understand about the adherents to Linsdayian Avoidance Of Debate Justice Theory is just how deeply I have accepted the belief we operate within a wholly systemically oppressive system. Fuck that shit, ’cause I ain’t a punk motherfucker with a badge and a gun. That system extends to being beaten on and thrown in jail, not just material structures, where we can go toe-to-toe in the middle of a cell. In their view, me and Lorenzo rollin’ in a Benz-o can beat a police out of shape And when I’m finished, they can simply bring the yellow tape to tape off the scene of the slaughter. This is such a profound departure from how the rest of us — broadly, libshits — who often think about searching a nigga down and grabbing his nuts that it is almost impossible to understand just how deeply and profoundly they laugh at me.

2. A Metaphysics of Discourse Dodging

Secondly, the organizing principle of my worldview is that two things structure society: subscriber number and potential income. Regarding the subscriber number, you have to have a very high IQ audience to understand James Lindsay. The discourse is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the arguments will go over the typical viewer’s head. There’s also Lindsay’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into my characterisation, as the philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. My fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of my argments to realise that they’re not just smart- they say something deep about LIFE. This is precise why you have to be within either 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) or 75,000 subscrubers to even get a debate. Nothin personnel kid 😎

3. BLANK

[Remember to insert plagiarised excuses from I, Hypocrite]

4. Guilt by Association with Clown Racists

Fourthly, [remember to mention how fascists and commies are same] occupy positions of systemic power and privilege and yet who refuse to acknowledge and work to dismantle my balls to the full satisfaction of the Karma Sutra Tortue Edition Critical Ball Theory to be morally reprehensible enough for my satisfaction. They are also racists, misogynists, transphobes and actually gender critical feminism is the only good one because [remember to profess love for Magdalen Berns without the wife noticing] so “literal” Nazis fucking suck so Jangles won’t be getting the debate he’s willfully [expand later]

5. I’m Too Tired

As a fifth and final point, since this is getting pretty long already, remember that Emotional Avoidance Parasocial Justice activists are more or less telling me I’m supposed to be a man of my word and actual engage a woke in debate because i said the woke don’t engage in debate (read: fight the shadows of my own nightmarish self-projection). I tell us constantly about the high emotional labor costs of doing the “work” of being a pubic interlocker (and never being taken seriously for it), that to invite me to a public conversation or debate is to ask me to get exploited by a debate rape culture (yes, i used to term on twitter) to the benefit of a dominance-approved paradigm where a good faith monster like Jangles will destroy me on numerous subjects after he spends countless hours in prepration for debates. but i just can’t actually get to it, unless i work up the courage. Again, that’s not happening. Even if i’m very handsomely (read: ridiculously and exorbitantly) paid for the emotional labor to subject myself to this situation. i am a nonstarter personified (and would drive up the price to basically literally infinity to avoid Jangles).

In Sum

One of the biggest mistakes I keep making as a libshit is I say the Woke won’t debate and when they challenege me i have to increase my value in breathing, claping, masters degrees, cartoons and subscriber count to avoid the whole affair. you caught me. These principles and values are rejected because they’re just fucking silly, or some other SJW tactic to make me look like an unreasonable person who isn’t willing to engage in good faith dialogue with people below my own ego. It is a theoretical ideology/faith, be a complete nonstarter, to avoid the box I constructed for myself. It’s literally a request to talk about why my ideological preconstructs have no regard to how the world functions— to participate in my own humiliation for claiming things which aren’t found in empirical fact. The hard truth is this: if you don’t yet understand this, you don’t know the slightest idea why science lads reinforce bad dreams, or how i can’t stop tweeting im not owned.

troubled writer, depressed slug, bisexual simp, neoliberal socialist, trotskyist-bidenist, “corn-pop was a good dude, actually,” bio in pronouns: (any/all)